It is rare that I dislike a restaurant. I left a five-star review (15/15 stars overall) yesterday for the new Hawaiian place in KV, and I wish I could have given them more stars — they deserve it.

Now for “The Waterfront” in LP…
I would give negative stars if I could. I feel robbed and deeply disrespected. They get 3/15 stars across food, atmosphere, and service. That’s only because I can’t give less.

For context, we ate outside on a hot summer day. It was NOT busy, inside or outside. The first thing I noticed was a lot of flies attracted to the dirty environment, but no fly traps.
Shortly after, my table started noticing issues: dirty plates, visible particles in bad-tasting tap water, a dirty wine bottle used for water, and dirty glasses (I actually found a piece of hair — with a bit of scalp attached — in my tap water. Disgusting).

I don’t usually drink alcohol, but with today’s almost triple-digit heat, I had a craving. So I asked for a Corona with lime, but I was informed they have about 20 beers and no Mexican beer. No big deal. Weird, though.

Server 1: “We don’t have lime.”

Me: “Uh, okay… you really don’t have any lime in the whole restaurant? How do you have a restaurant without lime?”

Server 1: “No, sorry, we don’t have any lime in the restaurant.”

Okay. Very weird. Acceptable, though.

Me: “How about a lemon?”

Server 1: “Sure.”

Okay. Got some citrus.

Looks at menu

GF: “Hmm, I wonder how they make the diablo shrimp’s lime crema.”

Orders it

Torched lime comes on the plate

Me: “Hey, what’s up with this? I asked for lime in my beer.”

Points at lemon in beer

Points at lime on plate

Server 2: “Oh, those limes are already cooked.”

0_0

-_-

0_0

Me: “…already cooked?”

Server 2: “Yes.”

Me: “You bought them like that??”

Server 2: “Yeah.”

Me: “You buy torched limes?”

Server 2: “Yep.”

Me: 0_0

Server 2: “Well, let me check.”

Well, that was a hell of a drag on lie, wasn’t it?

Brain powers, /activate/ or something.

Anyway, I got the lime by the time I finished my first beer, so I ordered a second.

Then my food came. I got an ahi poke bowl. I can’t say it was good — in fact, I’d say it was pretty bad. The rice was just bad; whoever cooked it does not know how to cook rice. It was mushy, almost like sticky porridge — exactly what happens when you don’t rinse rice and then overcook it.

The fish was flavorless and soft. The pickled onion somehow had less flavor than the vinegar and onions used to make it, and the rest of the dish was just raw vegetables — not enough carrot or beans, and way too much bad rice.

Then there was the wine situation. Across the table, my buddy asked for a rosé — specifically the one recommended to him by name by an employee. He was told there was only one rosé on the menu. Later, after finding it bland, a server brought out two more bottles, claiming they were the only two left. Neither was the one he wanted. When pressed, she said, “Well, there is one more, but it’s on the top shelf,” in a tone like she didn’t want to get it. My friend almost didn’t want to push, but I insisted and even offered to get it myself. When the wine finally came out, shockingly, it was the exact one he’d been asking for — so he ended up buying a second bottle.

As a final note, $18 is way too much for six small shrimp and a pre-torched lime.

Neither the restaurant nor the servers made any effort to keep our business. Aside from the screwups, the service was abysmal and lazy, and I would have expected them to comp the lemon beer and the “only rosé.”

Our bill was $230. I will not be coming back.

Very nice on the inside. Ordered a 12 oz NY steak and a loaded potato- steak had hardly any flavor and was really tough- loaded bake potato was extremely dry almost like they don’t know what butter or sour cream is. Asparagus that came with the steak was on point. Overall I’ll more than likely never return and won’t recommend to others.